Burning
by Heavenly Awkward
Summary: Set after Terra's death. Few of the Titans suspect, but her passing brings to surface problems that need dealing with--problems that, if they were left alone, would kill Raven...
1. Chapter 1

Burning  
  
by Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, you'd know... And you probably wouldn't like it anymore, either.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Raven's eyes opened. It was still dark. She sighed; Time to get up. She slipped out from under the covers, shivering as her bare feet touched the cold floor. In fact, it was just generally cold. Lately, the tower was unusually chilly in the early morning. This was not good news for Raven, as she got cold easily anyways. She made her bed as quickly as she could, then grabbed her cloak from beside her bed and threw it on. She shivered once, then shook her head and stopped. She then proceeded to pull on her boots. Raven strongly doubted that the other Titans guessed that she did not only wear the cloak as part of her costume. They probably wouldn't care all that much anyways, if they did know. Raven would not have minded that. They wouldn't be likely to guess anytime soon, anyways--not with all the stress the team was under lately. Terra's betrayal and death had really shocked them. All of them. They were, in fact, in the process of mourning for the girl who had only briefly been their friend. Starfire had broken down crying when they got home last night, and refused to stop all night. Raven was fine with leaving them to their sorrow. Being the sole empath on the team, she didn't like seeing her fellow teammates sad, but there wasn't much she could do.  
  
Raven left her room and made her way quietly to the roof. The sun would rise in a few minutes, and she always watched it as it came up over the gold and violet clouds, bringing some light and warmth to the usual early-morning chill and damp. But today, she stood on the roof silently, looking out at the still-dark horizon. A dark horizon. Heh. Her brows knitted for a moment.  
  
Raven opened her mouth, but made no sound. There was a burning feeling in her stomach. She closed her mouth and swept off the roof. The sun had not risen yet.  
  
Once inside, Raven paused, heart fluttering and stomach burning. What to do now? She considered going to get some tea, but decided against it. Instead, she decided to meditate, to try and clear the mess yesterday had left in her mind.  
  
===  
  
"Raven?" A voice broke through Raven's concentration. At first she was annoyed. After all, this was about the longest stretch of time that she had meditated without a break, and she found that she rather liked it. She was about to reply with something withering when she recognised the voice. It was Robin. The two of them usually got along fairly well--they seemed to understand one another as none of the other Titans did, and she preferred to keep things friendly with him. She quickly changed what she was going to say.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Everyone's in the kitchen, eating. I made breakfast, so it's not something really weird. Want to come eat with us?"  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Around nine-thirty."  
  
Nine-thirty. She had been there for close to five hours. Raven smiled to herself.  
  
"So, do you want to come eat?"  
  
Raven hadn't realized that she hadn't answered him. "No, I'm not hungry."  
  
Robin looked at her with concern, though she didn't see it. She did, however, sense a tinge of worry in his voice as he pushed, "Do you want to just come down anyways? You've been here for a while, maybe you should come and... mingle a bit, you know?" Raven was silent.  
  
Robin sighed, and changed his approach. "Look, I know it isn't your thing, but truth be told, I'm not exactly excited about breakfast with those two without you, not after last night. I need someone who can keep them in check, and you happen to be the only one who can do that."  
  
Raven paused, then uncrossed her legs to a standing position in midair. She dropped easily to the ground and turned. "All right. But don't think flattery will save you every time."  
  
Robin grinned. "Never crossed my mind," he assured her, and they walked in silent companionship to the kitchen.  
  
Robin had not lied when he told Raven that he was dreading breakfast with Cyborg and Beast Boy without her--he was--but he had just not told the whole truth. There was a difference between telling a lie and not telling everything. The real reason why he had wanted her to come down was that he was worried about her. Of all the people whom he expected to have problems with Terra's death, Raven was at the top of his list. Certainly, Beast Boy had been closer to her, but he was more open with his feelings than Raven. When he had problems, he made it painfully obvious, where she snapped shut like a clam. It was not really the best way to handle her feelings, Robin knew that. And she had also been close to Terra. Once Terra submitted to her, they had formed a tight bond. Robin knew how much it hurt when bonds like that were broken.  
  
Raven had set herself up perfectly for a serious emotional, mental, and possibly physical breakdown, and the only way he could see for her to get out of it was for her to open up enough to deal with those problems without trying to hide them.  
  
======  
  
That evening, after the almost-traditional arguement about what to eat, they decided to go out for pizza (sound at all familiar?). Once there, they immediately began argueing about what type of pizza to get.  
  
"Pepperoni!" Cyborg told the waitress who had come to take their order.  
  
"What? No! Vegetarian!" Beast Boy cried at once, and the conversation quickly descended into an utterly predictable arguement between the two. After about seventy-two seconds, a rather grouchy Raven couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"SHUT UP!!" She roared over the two boys' voices. They immediately froze, looking at her with wide eyes. Raven could be loud when she wanted to be. She gave them a look that plainly said, If you dare argue with me, you will be sorry! "Beast Boy, get off of the table, and both of you sit down! If you keep doing that, you'll get us kicked out! We want a large pizza, three-quarters cheese, one-quarter vegetarian, and a small pepperoni," she said to the waitress, who nodded and smiled.  
  
"It's always nice to see a girl with spunk," she said.  
  
"Thank you," Raven replied calmly.  
  
"So I'll have your order coming right up!" The waitress said, and walked off.  
  
When the pizzas came, the hungry titans practically dove into them. Except for one, that is. Raven simply sat back and started reading her book. Robin noticed.  
  
"Hey, what are you reading, Raven?" He asked.  
  
Raven turned the book so he could see the cover. "The Fifth of March."  
  
"Huh," Robin looked at it. "I've never read that. Is it horror?"  
  
Raven shook her head. "Historical fiction."  
  
"Who is it by?"  
  
"Ann Rinaldi. She does a lot of historical fiction."  
  
"Yeah, I've heard of her. What's it about?"  
  
"The Boston Massacre."  
  
"Hey, Raven!" Beast Boy interrupted their literary conversation. "You aren't eating anything!"  
  
"What a clever deduction."  
  
"Why not, Rae?" Cyborg asked, taking an interest.  
  
"Because," Raven said flatly, "I'm not hungry."  
  
"You ordered the pizza," Beast Boy pointed out.  
  
"Only to stop your fighting over it. I don't want any."  
  
"Aww, come on Rae, it won't hurt!" Cyborg coaxed. "Just one peice!"  
  
Raven shook her head. "I told you, I don't want any. I'm not hungry. Leave me alone."  
  
"Once peice?"  
  
"Why do you care, Beast Boy?"  
  
"Cuz you didn't eat breakfast either."  
  
"I just wasn't hungry today. Leave me alone!" They gave her pleading puppy dog eyes. She scowled at them. "If you're really worried, I'll order some tea, okay?" The 'don't you dare argue' look was back, and the two boys decided to heed it. They nodded, and Raven ordered the tea, then sat there sipping it while the conversation turned to other things (the latest video game).  
  
A/N: Wow, first chapter of my first fan fickle! What fun! I've got some lovely pumpkin-chocolate-chip cookies for whoever reviews (you'd be surprised how good those are, but if you don like em, I've got plain chocolate chip and peanut butter too)! And yeah, I know it was a little short and cliched, but I had SERIOUS writer's block. :( I knew where I wanted it to go, I just didn't know how to start it. I have a better idea of the middle/ending, and I'll have time to get over my writers block before I post the second chappie, so it'll get better as I go along! Have fun, and reviews will make it come faster! 


	2. Chapter 2

Burning  
  
by Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except a few books, and I CERTAINLY don't own Teen Titans--that will soon be fixed, though. (You can interpret that however you want...)  
  
Chapter 2: In which Raven surrenders to Starfire and watches people eat cereal.  
  
The next morning, Raven's eyes snapped open, and the first thing she noticed was that it was not as cold as usual. She threw on her cloak and boots as fast as she could and rushed to the rooftop. Then she stopped, staring out. No. The sun was up; she had overslept. She continued to stare. Then, just like yesterday, she left the roof as fast as she could.  
  
She decided to meditate again, and set to it. Because she had slept in, she didn't get as much time as yesterday, but just like yesterday, Robin peeked in to ask if she could come to breakfast.  
  
She turned, staring flatly at him for just long enough to make him very uncomfortable; he started fidgeting and asked once more, "So, will you come?"  
  
"Alright." Raven followed him to the kitchen. She didn't feel like eating anything.  
  
However, she hadn't forgotten Beast Boy's comment yesterday. She didn't want them making a big deal out of nothing, so she got another cup of tea. Starfire had made breakfast, so naturally everyone was eating cereal, and it was a fairly peaceful morning for once. Raven sipped her tea as the others got their cereal.  
  
It was interesting to watch them, and see what each of them chose.  
  
Starfire ate her... concoction. Whatever it was.  
  
Robin pulled a box of Wheaties from the cupboard and poured a large amount into his bowl, following those with a flood of milk; Robin ate healthy but, like any normal teenaged boy, he ate a lot.  
  
Cyborg headed to cook himself some sausage, eggs and bacon. When it was done, he paired it with a medium-large sized serving of Honey Grahams. He ate more than either of the other boys, only partially because he had another bowl afterward. And then another. And more sausage.  
  
Beast Boy immediately took the Lucky Charms and (being another teenaged boy) also poured a good, full serving for himself. For those who cannot translate, that means he poured enough to stuff himself on. He paused with the milk, then stood up to go find the sugar. When he came back with it, he spooned three huge spoonfuls onto his cereal, stirred it in, added milk, and then stirred again.  
  
And then he ATE it. All of it. He even stopped halfway through to add more sugar, mumbling that the milk had washed away the taste.  
  
How repulsive.  
  
Raven couldn't keep from staring in disgust. "How on earth do you do that?"  
  
"Huh?" Beast Boy looked up from his half-empty bowl at her. "What?"  
  
"Eating all that! Do you have any idea what all the sugar in that can do to you?"  
  
"Nope!" Beast Boy grinned cheerfully. "And I don't want to know, either!"  
  
"That's gross. I am going to be sick."  
  
"You should talk, all you ever eat for breakfast is... Well, you don't EAT breakfast, you drink it. All you ever have is your tea!"  
  
"That's not true," Cyborg argued. "She ate your breakfast, remember?"  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
"Well," Robin commented, "now we know how Beast Boy gets his energy..."  
  
Everyone laughed, including Beast Boy himself. Raven satisfied herself with a small chuckle.  
  
"Dear Raven!" Starfire said suddenly, in a tone of voice that made every single one of the other titans veeerry nervous.  
  
"Yeah, Star?" Raven asked cautiously.  
  
"I have found myself recently to be in need of new clothes, and since the journey to the place of exchanging money for goods is lonely and boring without a companion, and boys are not considered suitable for such--"  
  
"You want me to come to the mall with you," Raven translated bluntly.  
  
Starfire nodded vigorously. "Yes, and perhaps we could find you some suitable clothing as well!"  
  
"Hey, wait a minute," Beast Boy interrupted. "Since when do you ever wear anything besides your costume?"  
  
"Since a month ago," Robin said boredly, looking at his distorted (and upside-down) reflection in his spoon. "Starfire wondered what it would be like on earth when people didn't know her, so she got some normal clothes."  
  
"It was an enjoyable and educational experience," Starfire smiled. "I have wanted to take Raven with me for a long time. Will you come, Raven?"  
  
Will I come, Will I come... I've heard that too much lately. I don't really like it. "Fine. When do you want to go?"  
  
The boys gaped at her. Starfire beamed. "This Saturday, perhaps?"  
  
"Alright. Just tell me when you want to go."  
  
Snakes have the ability to detach their jaw in order to swallow things larger than their heads. The general male population of the Titan tower did not usually have this ability, but they seemed to have spontaneously acquired it, judging by the fact that their lower jaws were currently brushing the floor.   
  
A/N: End of chapter! Not bad, if I do say so myself. I personally thought that the last chapter was crap, relatively speaking, but this one's a bit better. Still slightly cliched, but not so much in that Raven went without any fight whatsoever. :D I hadn't even planned the breakfast scene, but so far it's my favorite.   
  
Human Lightshow: Thank joo! Cookie for you! What kind do you want? :P  
  
LG: Thank choo too! I'm glad you think it's off to a good start. I was really worried about that, you know, cuz I didn't like how I did the first chapter, which isn't really a good thing, you know? I still might re-do that, make it a little more descriptive and such... I do hope you come back! luvs readers Which cookie for you?  
  
dana1313: Lol, I will! holds out cookie Cookie?  
  
And thanks ALL of you for thinking it was good when I was kicking myself over how much I hated it. (I'm pessimistic, can ya tell?) Yeeks, if more reviews=faster updates, this could possibly get scary... --;;; R&R! 


	3. Chapter 3

Burning  
  
by Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: If you really think I own Teen Titans, I'll need your name... So I can turn you in to the local insane asylum.  
  
Note: Each line represents either a switch to a different time/place/POV, or, in this case, switching between Raven's POV and Robin's journal writing.   
  
Chapter 3: In which Raven avoids the roof and cannot sleep, and Robin becomes more worried.  
  
Raven lay in bed. Staring at the ceiling. How boring. She knew she should close her eyes if she ever hoped to get to sleep, but she couldn't stand lying there with her eyes any more that she could stand lying there with her eyes open!  
  
"Ugh, just go to sleep, Raven!" She growled at herself. She tried to lay still. But she soon started fidgeting. Growling, she switched positions and tried to calm down. It didn't work. She forced herself to stop moving completely. It seemed to work, and she calmed down a bit. Until she noticed that she was shaking.

* * *

Dear Journal,  
  
Today was pretty much incident-free. Thank you, God, for that. I don't think most of the team would be ready for that just yet.  
  
I'm still worried about Raven, though. She's avoiding us, I think. She tries to avoid joining us for any meals... She isn't eating much either, that I can see. She has her tea, of course, and does eat some things every once and a while... apples and stuff like that. Little things. She meditates more than I remember. And she's spending more and more time alone--yeah, she's always a loner, but before, she would at least come and read in the living room or something like that. Now, I barely see her.  
  
On the bright side, she volunteered to go to the MALL with Starfire! Insane, I know. I'm not sure if I should be worried for her, since she would never do that before, but I think getting out a bit would be good for her. The date is set for this Saturday. I suspect that Starfire is going to try to give her a makeover... And I'm not sure if either of them will survive that.

* * *

Raven was trembling like someone on a caffeine high. But she hadn't had any caffeine, had she? No, there was no way. She hadn't eaten anything today, not even her tea. She couldn't possibly have gotten any caffeine. So why did she feel so wired?

* * *

Raven doesn't seem to be sleeping well, either. She came out in the middle of the night (a few minutes ago). I was here in the kitchen, writing this, and she came in...

* * *

Raven kicked the covers off her bed and stood up. This time, she ignored the cold, not touching her cloak. She was about to leave her room when the twinging annoyance in the back of her mind reminded her that her bed was a mess from her tossing around, trying to get comfortable. She sighed and turned back, straightening her grey sheets with practiced moves. Pull on this side, and it made wrinkles all over. Then pull on the opposite side, and those wrinkles straightened out. Then she had to pull the other two ways, and then lay the sheet and comforter over the pillow, tucking it in gently. Impeccably neat. Much better.  
  
After one last hard look at her delightfully spotless room, Raven stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her. Her bare feet gripped the cold floor as she walked to the kitchen, wondering, for the umpteenth time in the last three days, what to do now. The first thing that came to her mind was food, to eat something. She shook her head hard, her hair whipping and stinging her cheeks, and dismissed the thought. She didn't want to eat. Tea, perhaps? ...maybe. A book would be fine, though, just as long as she could escape the stifling closeness of her room...  
  
Raven's thoughts were rudely interrupted by Robin's voice. "Raven! What are you doing up?"  
  
Raven frowned, somewhat annoyed. He always seemed to be everywhere, whenever she wanted to be alone, he was always there, worrying over her like a mother hen... Or at least, that's what it seemed like. "I couldn't sleep."  
  
"Obviously. Did you come down here for a specific reason?" Robin was sitting at the table with his knees drawn up to his chest, holding a book and a pen, pausing from (apparently) writing. In his other hand, he loosely gripped a mug of a sweet-smelling, thick brown liquid. Hot chocolate.  
  
"Just to get out of my room," Raven said flatly, looking for a moment at the steaming mug Robin held.  
  
"Ah."  
  
Raven looked around, trying to resist the sweet smell of the hot chocolate and find something else to drink... since she apparently was going to get something to drink one way or another, it might as well be something that she wouldn't feel guilty about afterwards. After a moment, she decided on a tea she often used to clear her throat. She set about preparing it, and very soon ended up sipping it at the table across from Robin. He caught a whiff of it and wrinkled his nose.  
  
"Ugh, what is that?" He asked.  
  
"Hot water, vinegar, and honey," Raven replied calmly.  
  
"What? How can you drink that?"  
  
"The taste grows on you after a while."  
  
"But why would you take it for that long?"  
  
"Because it clears out your throat."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Vinegar is a wonderful cleanser."  
  
"I guess so."  
  
They sat in silence once more. Robin began writing again, his mug now empty.

* * *

She basically couldn't sleep. I just hope this doesn't last long, for her sake.  
  
Robin

* * *

Robin closed his journal and got up. "'Night, Raven."  
  
"'Night." Raven stayed at the table, slowly finishing her tea. Then she stayed for longer, reading a book, until about two in the morning, when the shivers wore off and she could sleep.  
  
Her sleep got better, but in the following mornings, Raven began avoiding the roof, feeling the burning in her stomach whenever she glanced at the stairs leading up there. She began waking up later on purpose, so she wouldn't have a reason to try to go up. She was usually absent for meals, and Robin grew steadily more concerned for her.

* * *

The days went by as said above, and Saturday arrived. Starfire roused Raven from her meditation with a tap on the shoulder.  
  
"It is Saturday," she said. "Let us go and prepare for our shopping trip!"  
  
Raven obediently stood and let Starfire pull her down the hall, ignoring the boys, who were watching her as though they thought they might never see her again. Raven found herself in Starfire's room, and Starfire was rummaging through her large, walk-in closet.  
  
"I shall find you something suitable for wear at the mall!" Starfire said determinedly, her head buried in clothes.  
  
"Take your time," Raven said easily, looking around the bright, colorful room. It did not, however, take Starfire long to find something.  
  
"Ah-hah!" She stood straight and showed Raven the outfit she had in mind.  
  
"No," Raven said immediately, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. The outfit consisted of an orange skirt that fell to mid-thigh, a light yellow shirt with puffed sleeved and knee-high brown leather boots. Kinda cute, but not her style. "I'm not going to the mall wearing that."  
  
"But what shall you wear, then?" Starfire asked.  
  
"Well, let's take a look through your closet, shall we?" Raven said patiently, poking her head in. She didn't see very many of the darker colors, which disappointed her. However, there were some shades of purple and blue, and a few blacks, which were the only ones she took a second look at. After a moment, she pulled out an outfit and held it up for Starfire to see. She smiled as Starfire clapped joyfully.  
  
"It will fit you perfectly, Raven! You have such wonderful taste!"  
  
"Oh. My. Gosh." Beast Boy stared with the rest of the boys as Starfire came to show Raven off. It wasn't hard to see why.  
  
Raven was wearing low-rise stretch jeans, which were a dark brownish navy blue, complemented with a large black belt whose oval buckle read simply, "Yeah Right!". Over that, she wore a dark blue, low cut shirt that wrapped around her torso and tied on the left, emphasising her slim, curvy figure. She had a black camisole underneath (and a lot of the cami showed, too), but the shirt still showed off her collarbones, while a slender black choker did the same for her graceful neck. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, which was slightly messy in an edgy way, and the slightest hint of makeup added color to her lips and cheeks.  
  
Robin blinked and regained his composure. "You look awesome. Both of you."  
  
"Thank you," Raven said dryly, fingering the choker lightly.  
  
"I hope you do like it," Starfire said slyly, (she was wearing the orange outfit she had suggested for Raven) "for today will be, as you might say, wild."

* * *

A/N: Third chapter! stretch My back hurts now. Hmm, I want ideas about villains! After all, they ARE superheroes, they have to fight SOMETHING... Anybody who helps me with that gets cake and milk!  
  
Human Lightshow: Hope you like 'em!  
  
DarkWolfBlade: Thank you. I try very hard to make sure I keep them in character, but sometimes I don't think it works. However, I do think you're right here.   
  
Hmm, yeah, I guess the first chapter was funner to read. Much more dramatic, no? (I didn't like the writing, though, I was rusty...) The second and third aren't, but if I get my way, the fourth will be! In fact, I think I may just join the second and third into one at some point, but not yet. I'll wait till I've got the fourth. And don't worry, the stuff with Terra will come... Later. I'll just have to torture you for a while, huh?  
  
NNY273000: Thank you.   
  
wordbearer: Thank you! :D I like dialogue. It's fun.   
  
Mmm, now I start on the fourth! Great fun, huh? :P Lol... 


	4. Chapter 4

Burning  
  
By Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: I don own nuthin. Quit buggin me.  
  
Note: The rating went up for suggested alcohol use, mild sexuality and... other stuff. It's not really dirty, so just go ahead and read it!  
  
Chapter 4: In which Raven goes shopping and loses control.  
  
"Look, Raven, there is a store that was not here when I last came!" Starfire looked intently at the store, then started to tug her friend towards it. "Let us go and see what is inside."  
  
"No, Starfire," Raven said firmly, reaching up with her free hand, gently grabbing Starfire's ear and carefully pulling her away from the store. "If you ever go in a Victoria's Secret store before you're at least eighteen, you and I will have a LONG talk about your standards."  
  
"Oh!" Starfire said, though this was more in reaction to being pulled by the ear than anything. "I assume, then, that this store is considered... inappropriate?"  
  
"You could say that," Raven replied, letting go of Starfire's ear. "Nobody would argue with you." They walked as they had before, looking at the stores as they passed them, Starfire stopping every once and a while to go in a store or looking at one of the smaller vendor's booths scattered here and there. [A/N: Have you ever noticed those? Nobody mentions them, and I find it odd, since they're in every mall I've ever seen. shrug] Suddenly Starfire tugged on Raven's wrist.  
  
"I've been told that you would like this store," Starfire said, pointing at a store on whose front large, jagged red letters read...  
  
"Hot Topic?" Raven looked at Starfire. "Who would have told you something like that?"  
  
"Last time I was here, some young men began speaking to me. We talked, and I told them about you. They said you would like this "Hot Topic"."  
  
"They were probably hitting on you," Raven said in annoyance. She didn't like the idea of guys flirting with her friend, especially when Star herself didn't have the slightest idea of what they were doing.  
  
"Hitting?" Starfire looked puzzled. "They were kind, we did not exchange blows..."  
  
"No, I mean..." Raven thought desperately for some way to explain. But how did you explain flirting to someone who, as far as she knew, didn't even know what dating was? "Do you remember Kitty? And the way she was acting with Robin?"  
  
Starfire's eyes narrowed predictably. "Yes."  
  
"Kitty was hitting on Robin. Do you get it now?"  
  
"Ohh!" Starfire's eyes cleared, and she smiled slyly. "Yes, they were... Hitting on me."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"They were hitting on me," Starfire repeated, looking sly and a little smug. "As you said--"  
  
"Yes, I heard that part," Raven frowned. "What did you do?"  
  
"Oh, I just... Let them."  
  
"Did you ENCOURAGE them?"  
  
"Perhaps a little..."  
  
"Starfire!"  
  
"You asked, Raven."  
  
"Yes, but..." Raven sighed. "That just doesn't sound like you."  
  
"Perhaps you do not know me as well as you thought, friend Raven."  
  
"I guess not," Raven grumbled.  
  
Starfire smiled. "Do not be upset, Raven. That is why I brought you with me; So that we could begin to understand each other better." Then she took Raven again by the wrist and pulled her into Hot Topic.  
  
"Whoever those guys were," Raven said to Starfire, "they probably thought I was a goth."  
  
"A goth?"  
  
"One of those people who likes black and macabre things and shopping here."  
  
"Except for the part about shopping here, that sounds very much like you, Raven."  
  
"...Good point." Raven looked in amusement at one of the t-shirts on the rack against the wall. It was based on the "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" saying, but instead of the monkeys one usually saw (one covering its eyes, one covering its ears, one covering its mouth), it featured teenage fairies. The one that was supposed to represent "See no evil" was covering her eyes--but peeking. The one for "Hear no evil" covered one ear, but cupped the other, as though listening to a secret. And for "Speak no evil", the fairies was covering her mouth--so as to better direct her whisperings to the phone in her other hand.  
  
"Sassy," Raven commented to herself.  
  
"Have you found something you like?" Starfire asked.  
  
"I think I like that one," Raven said, pointing at the one with the devilish fairies.  
  
"Let us buy it, then!" Starfire said, taking it from the rack and draping it over one arm with a few other things she had collected from the racks and shelves.  
  
"What are those?" Raven asked, nodding toward the other things in her hands. Starfire got that sly smile back.  
  
"Oh... Some things for you."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Let us go and purchase these!" Starfire said quickly, and Raven shrugged and followed her friend to the counter, where they paid for the items and walked out, Starfire happily swinging the bag in one hand.  
  
They hadn't walked long, however, before Starfire dragged her into another store, this one called 5·7·9, saying, "I want to purchase some clothing from this store as well." But it didn't seem like she wanted to purchase clothing from that store for herself, for the moment she got in she began pulling clothes off the hangers, and it was hard not to notice that they were all in dark colors.  
  
"Ahm, Star?"  
  
"Yes, Raven?"  
  
"Something tells me those aren't for you."  
  
"No, Raven, they are not. They are for you!"  
  
"Star." Raven looked at a short skirt that Starfire had chosen. "That's not exactly the type of thing I usually wear."  
  
"Whatever do you mean?"  
  
"Look at that skirt!" Raven said, waving at the skirt she had been looking at. "It's so tiny, it's not even there!"  
  
"Yes, Raven," Starfire said patiently, "I believe it is called a "miniskirt", and it will be the perfect attire for where we go next."  
  
"I choose not to ask where that is just yet," Raven sighed.  
  
"Excellent." Starfire took Raven to a dressing room and sent her in with a handful of clothes. The first time she came out, she had tried on a dark, coppery red-black shirt over the pants she had been wearing before. Starfire frowned.  
  
"It is too loose," she said in slight confusion. "I underestimated how small you are, dear Raven. Wait here, I must get a smaller size." They went down two full sizes before the shirt fit to Starfire's satisfaction. "You are much, much smaller than I realized," Starfire commented, exchanging the other clothes for more appropriate sizes.  
  
Once Raven had gone through all the clothes Star had picked out (to many "Ooh"s and "Aah"s, and "Raven, you truly are beautiful, you know"s) and Star had set aside the ones she really liked, Raven found Starfire holding out an ensemble that included the miniskirt. "Try this!"  
  
"What? With that? No!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
Raven glared at Starfire, who simply gave her a trademark "poor, sweet Star" look. Raven growled and took the clothes, then turned and went into the dressing room.  
  
Starfire smiled and waited patiently. She had prepared herself for Raven's protests, and so they didn't bother her so much as they normally would. After Raven's incredulity when she heard of Star's encounter with those boys, she had guessed that her dark friend would react similarly to this. "After all, it only makes sense," she murmured to herself. It was at that moment that she heard a soft knock.  
  
"I have it on," Raven said, opening the door. Starfire's smile widened as she looked at her friend. She was wearing the dark blue miniskirt with a similarly colored camisole. The camisole was low-cut, and so much of her upper chest and shoulders were gloriously bare. Both pieces of clothing were figure hugging, complementing her slender waist and rather curvy hips. The high-heeled black leather knee-high boots, working with the messy ponytail, added a slight touch of edginess to the look. Raven made no comment on the outfit, but looked uncomfortable with showing so much skin.  
  
"Close," Starfire said. "But it's a bit simple. Come, we shall purchase these, then go home and prepare."  
  
"Again," Raven muttered, "I choose not to ask."

* * *

"Ahm, Starfire?"  
  
"Yes, Raven?"  
  
"Why are we at a club?" Raven had suspected something like this, but still thought too much of Starfire's innocence to really believe those thoughts. Once they got home, Starfire had dragged Raven back to her room and fixed the problem of the outfit being too simple. Now, in addition to the leather boots and all the skin that showed with the cami and miniskirt, Raven wore a chain around her waist that accented her hips, earrings, and various other accessories, including a leather band placed rather suggestively high on one thigh and a sliver band shaped like a snake wrapping around her upper arm. Her hair was done up in an edgy but elegant twist, and she also wore more makeup now, mostly eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. The entire makeover took advantage of Raven's delicate figure to produce a fierce look, made so much more alluring by the fact that the one wearing it was so small.  
  
"We are here to dance, speak with young men, and enjoy being here!" Starfire informed her, pulling her inside by the wrist for the zillionth time that day.  
  
"You didn't seem to enjoy going to that party your sister took us to," Raven pointed out flatly as they entered the club interior. The lights were low.  
  
"Agreed," Starfire said. "That is why, when those boys told me of this place, I decided to come... In order to become accustomed to the atmosphere."  
  
Raven shook her head. "You really will do anything, as long as it teaches you something about "Earth life"."  
  
"Almost anything, yes." Starfire observed that Raven looked rather uncomfortable. "Do not be apprehensive, friend Raven. You may wait before going out among the people, if you wish."  
  
"I think I'll take you up on that offer," Raven muttered. Starfire then waved and went "out among the people", to the dance floor, while Raven hung back. She watched the people from a safe distance, both because she knew that going out might pose a particular threat to her control over her powers, and because she was insecure and curious. Raven had never been to a club before, and she decided that she liked watching them dance. She stayed, sitting at a table and watching, observing the way they acted, debating with herself about whether to go out or not. It really was a shame to waste all Starfire's work—it must have really taken a lot of it to make her look good! But Raven wasn't completely comfortable with going out, either. Finally, she decided something along the lines of "What the heck", stood up, and joined the people.  
  
For a moment, Raven didn't move, attacked suddenly by a fit of nervousness. Then she glanced to the side and saw two girls dancing a ways away. At first, Raven copied them, then quickly caught on, and began dancing on her own, feeling the strong beat of the music pound into her like a pulse. The lights began to flash slightly. Apparently she was doing pretty well, because some people started giving her looks that weren't altogether bad... One guy, whom she had seen earlier and thought was hot (though not exactly in those words) came up to her and asked, basically, if she'd dance with him. Raven nodded (she hadn't missed him checking her out), and he moved behind her. His hands were on her hips as she rolled them, and started to gain that confidence that come from knowing that you were sexy... The song changed, and as the beat got heavy, so did the dancing... The sexual tension in the air thickened noticeably...  
  
"Lemme get you something," the guy said to her in a low voice, leading her off of the dance floor.  
  
"Mm... Then one more dance?"  
  
"Hell yeah!"

* * *

A/N: Mm, that was incredibly naughty for me. :P I tried not to be too descriptive, cuz I DO have standards! And this is my longest chappie so far! Yay! Umm, yeah. What was I going to say? Oh, right. I DID have a reason for that club scene, as you will see in the next chapter! It was pretty darn important to the advancement of the plot!  
  
Right, maybe I'm imagining it, but I think I wrote Starfire a bit OOC, so in my own defense... YES, Starfire's main charm and personality trait is her sweet innocence, BUT I can clearly imagine her wising up and becoming more like I portrayed her here. People can't stay innocent forever, you know, but I will try to keep as much of that sweet innocence as possible--because she's just so adorable.   
  
Aah, and the next chapter is where the real point of this story REALLY starts coming in. :D I have so much fun with this. See, I'm having so much fun, I'm grinning! :D  
  
wordbearer: Boiling in her own juices? Oh, yes. ::evil grin:: If you thought that was torture for her, wait until you see the stuff that starts coming up next chapter...  
  
Human Lightshow: LOL! Or maybe the pizza could be that rat person's sidekick! (rotfl) Mm, I think I shall steal that idea... And then abuse my artistic license a bit... I have the greatest time doing this.  
  
Cake and milk to both of you! (by the way, the whole villain thing is still going, so if anyone else wants to help me out...) And THANK YOU, my wonderful reviewers, who are reading and reviewing so faithfully! I love you to DEATH! ...okay, I'm done. Watch out for da next chappie! 


	5. Chapter 5

Burning  
  
By Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Raven, any of her friend/enemies/people who are somewhere in between/people she doesn't know, but are there, or Jump city or anything in it but what I make up... Did I cover everything? O.o;;;  
  
NOTE: Fairly graphic self-abuse starts here, and MAY TRIGGER! Please, guys, I don't want everything you worked so hard for to go down the drain, so if you're not sure if you can take that, just go read something happy, okay? (Like cute little fluffy bunnies, pastel rainbows and little fishies swimming around in their little fishbowls! )  
  
Chapter 5: In which Raven feels guilty and pays for her previous actions.  
  
Raven came slowly to consciousness, and was awake before she realized it. She was in her room, lying comfortably under her soft grey sheets. She was exhausted, but her "internal clock" told her that it was NOT morning. Funny, though, that she didn't remember coming to bed... And despite the late hour, she was achingly tired, and her head still pounded with the beat of the music from the night before...  
  
...Oh. Right. Last night. Oh no. I feel sick... Nonononono...  
  
Raven was up and on her feet before she knew what she was doing. She ran into her batheroom and knelt before the toilet and pressed her fingers back in her throat and held them there and it hurt but a few moments later she vomited and it came up. She stopped a moment, then did it again, and again, until she only spit up water and blood and knew it was gone. Tired and drained, she stood shakily and flushed it away.  
  
Then she stripped quickly, turned on the shower, and stepped in. She turned the temperature knob to the left, and the water became warm, soft clouds of steam beginning to rise. Raven stepped under the stream of water; She wanted to wash the smells of alchohol, sweat and vomit from her hair and body. She paused. Her hand snapped out and twisted the knob to the right, and the water turned freezing, so that she gasped as it hit her, streaming down her body from her hair, down her face and back and arms and chest and legs like ice. Her instincts told her to jump out as fast as possible, but her mind drove in, keeping her there, and her mind was stronger.  
  
Don't move! She told herself viciously. Stay here. How could you have done that?? You could have blown the whole club to the ground, you idiot! God, you have no self-control, do you? Do you WANT to kill somebody?? You have too much power to let go like that! One slip, one moment of real anger, and you could destroy the city! Do you want that? DO YOU WANT THAT??  
  
Her mind ranted on, telling her about all the potential she was supposed to have had, all the wonderful things she COULD have done, but didn't, and why? Because she was lazy, weak, because she couldn't keep from drowning in the emotions she'd be better without... But that was no more...  
  
Raven hugged herself, feeling the goosebumps all over her skin.  
  
She would change all that, she had thought she was working hard, but that was nothing compared to what she would do now... The city would never die as long as she protected it... But what good would her protection do as long as she was still fat and lazy? No. She would have to change that...  
  
Raven started shivering...  
  
She knew these thoughts well, but now she wouldn't fight them. Why had she fought them, anyways? She didn't remember, but she didn't care. She could change it now, she could start over. She didn't even need her friends there--after all, they just got in the way.  
  
Then she stopped shivering. Bad sign, it meant she was getting too cold. She would have deserved to freeze to death, but who would protect her beloved city then? No, she didn't want to die of hypothermia, thank you very much. She turned the water to a comforting warm and reached for the shampoo...  
  
A/N: Is it short? Yes. Is it important? Yes. Very. Is it ever-so-slightly scary? Yup. Now, to answer you, leah...  
  
leahgrave: Why, thank you. Yus, I am doing that... Yes, it's on purpose, as seen above. (I'm not going to write out what it is, though, so other intelligent readers can figure it out for themselves.) :D Yeah, I've noticed that, when most people do have her participate in self-mutilation (which happens often) they do tend to make her a cutter. And it always bothered me, because I don't think the Raven I know would do something so blatantly obvious. She'd stop it either immediately before or after the first cut, she's strong enough for that. But have you ever heard that little bit of advice on how to boil a frog alive? If you drop it in a pot of boiling water, it'll jump out! But if you drop it in a pot of lukewarm water and slowly turn up the heat, it doesn't notice the water slowly getting hotter and hotter until... Presto! Frog soup! That's always how I imagined Raven acting when faced with difficult emotions and problems... like death and depression. She tries her hardest to make everything okay (or as close as possible), and so she doesn't know anything's happening, until it's too late, and it's already too much a part of her to let go on her own. Gosh, I'm making MYSELF feel really depressed, too! Okay, I'm gonna stop now. I LOVE YOU TOO!! ::huggles::  
  
Next chapter will feature more of the same... By the way, I realized something a while ago. If you read, but don't review I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHETHER OR NOT YOU READ IN THE FIRST PLACE!! So please, review. It's fun for me, and knowing people like the story so far helps boost my poor, waning self-esteem, which only makes it better!  
  
BTW, I'm going to write a songfic to help keep this from driving me crazy/making me too depressed (do you know how hard planning all this stuff is?) and it's going to be and incredibly sweet BB/Rae romance, in the same continuum as this one, but later, when they're older. There are just a few songs that remind me so strongly of my idea of their relationship that I just can't resist. So watch for it! Neways, till next time!  
  
HA 


	6. Chapter 6

Burning  
  
By Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I own my little world that I made up and which happens to include the Titans, but that's about it...  
  
NOTE: THIS STORY CONTAINS SELF-ABUSE. This chapter in particular. IT IS VERY TRIGGERING! If you are in recovery at the moment, then you probably should not read!!  
  
Chapter 6: In which Raven exhausts herself and another "force" in her mind becomes ever so slightly more evident.  
  
She was running. Hard. Not to mention fast. Very fast. As though she had death on her heels, in fact. But, as it were, she did not have death behind her. There was nothing behind her but buildings, and nothing before her but the same. It was also very early in the morning, and there was a damp, early-morning chill in the air. Raven didn't notice the cold, as her entire body (lungs in particular) was burning from within from exertion, even as her skin was cold, drenched in sweat.  
  
Raven's early morning course was very strenuous, but after a few weeks of doing it at least once a day--and often more than that--she was used to it. It wasn't the uncommon morning when she would go around twice or more. The path she took led through several alleys, all of which were littered liberally with various obstacles (trash cans and such) which she liked to jump over, and she did so with one of them now, the powerful muscles in her legs and ankles pushing upward, using the momentum of her run to help propel her over the obstacle in one smooth, powerful leap. She landed in a crouch, legs burning, and continued.  
  
This's the second time around, right? Yeah. It's getting bright, though. It took longer to go around than usual--I wonder why? Getting lazy? Not for long... Get up at four tomorrow, and go around three times at least. Then some practice in the gym. Can't get out of shape, can I? I've still got all that weight to lose...  
  
Raven reached the end of her course, which was at the T-Tower, and went in. As usual, she chose to take the stairs up to their living quarters, rather than the elevator. It was several flights, and if she got too tired, she could always fly up, couldn't she?  
  
But you can't do that too often, remember. Always, always, if at all possible, run up all the way. It gives you more of that exercise you need so badly, you fat cow! Good, you made it. Okay, now go get a drink--don't want to get dehydrated, do we? Cold water, it's better for you. Lots of it--get one of those tall glasses. Don't forget to keep moving, it keeps your muscles from cramping! Splash your face with water, clean off the sweat before it clogs your pores again. Gooood. Nooo! Don't eat anything, you idiot! If you eat right after you exercise, your body will start burning the food instead of the fat, you know that! Close that refrigerator! Better. Now, off to the gym with you, you disobedient child! And maybe a nice, warm shower afterward as a reward, if you've worked hard enough.  
  
Ah, yes, the gym. Wonderful, wonderful. We can have some real fun here! Hmm, let me see, what to do first? Remember those flips you did yesterday? Do 'em again. Gymnastics is a wonderful way to increase flexibility and strength... So is dancing, but you don't know how to dance, so that's out of the question. You should learn, it'll make these funner, and easier for you to decide to do. Not that I'd let you NOT do them, but still. Why not have fun with it? Okay, don't forget to stretch--you don't want to pull a muscle, do you? Arms first--upper arms, then the lower arm and wrists... Then legs, back of the knees, inside of the thighs, calves--well, you know the drill by now...  
  
Raven stretched on one of the mats, until every muscle and joint of her body felt limber and refreshed. She really liked stretching, she always felt so clean and energetic afterwards. It was a good feeling, and a good thing to do, so naturally she did it a lot. Then she stood on the edge of the room, about a yard from the wall, wiggling her feet and toes, not about to stop moving for a second...  
  
...that burns calories, you know. 500-800 extra a day. Okay, now into your gymnastics. Start easy, with a front handspring. See, wasn't that easy? Now two in a row. Good, now a handspring and then a flip. The other way around, now. Good, just play with it like you're doing--noo, don't stop! Who GIVES a care how tired you are, keep going, you aren't done yet! GET UP FROM THE FLOOR AND KEEP GOING!! ...ugh, here comes Robin. Get up, now, if you let him see that you're tired, he'll start suspecting something, that little... Come on, keep going, he's going to wonder why you're here, if you weren't exercising... What? He wants to SPAR? ...good idea. But then, you might not be strong enough, little weakling that you are. Better pass it up, this time...  
  
"No thanks, Robin," Raven said, sounding utterly normal (for her, anyways). "I've been training for a while now, and I'm getting tired. Maybe another time...?"  
  
"Alright, Raven," Robin smiled at her. "I'll remember to ask you the next time I need a sparring partner, then?"  
  
"Fine," Raven replied, turning to exit the gym and, after pausing a moment a few steps into the hall, sprinted to her room.  
  
...mm, not quite what one would call an optimal performance... But still, you worked just hard enough...

* * *

A/N: ::sigh:: What a short chapter. I'm such a lazy bum lately, and all because I found the complete illustrated collection of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "Sherlock Holmes" stories in a box mom brought in... not that they aren't some of the best stories ever written in the history of the earth, but still... And sorry it took me so long to get to work on this chapter, I had something of a breakdown of my own, which totally messed up my ideas of this fic, so now I have to reorganize them... Blech...  
  
Well, take a stab at guessing who/what on earth it is that's so mean to Raven. Did you understand any of that, by the way? Oh, and look, I get to answer the substantial amount of reviews you folks gave me! (You know I love you guys! ::hugs::)  
  
BlackShield: Yus, poor, poor Raven... :( ::sheds a tear:: Bad influence? Star? Why, what gave you that idea? And, Raven, in bad shape? ...heck yeah! :P Lack of food and sleep and rest and relaxation and... stuff like that... Well, it'll do that to ya. Yeah, it is kinda sweet that Robin's worried about her (and rightfully so...). He's the only one who's noticed thus far, cuz,   
  
1) he's the most observant of the team, par, perhaps, Raven--and he might top her, having lived with Batman the detective himself, and  
  
2) he really cares about his teammates. Really, he does, a lot. REALLY really.  
  
Pairings are BB/Rae and Ro/St (the main pairings I support, by the way), but we focus on our dear Raven's relationship in this one. Might do a R/S fic later, though... And yeah, four was my dirtiest chapter. And it will probably remain so. ...okay, I won't kill you if you don't review. (Aaw, but I wanted to try out the new kitchen knife my mom got... ::pout::)  
  
wordbearer (both of the reviews): Yeah, I was worried that people would get bored with the shopping, but I decided it was just important enough to put in, anyways. Thank you--in this fic, I'm gonna stress their friendship a lot, and they're going to get VERY close! Calm before the storm, eh? I think you have your answer to that...  
  
Twisted? Yeah. It's supposed to be. And expect most of this fic to be, as well. Of course I send you rolling down with a bang--what fun would it be if I asked permission a few times, gave a few little taps, then asked again if it was okay, and then tentatively gave you a tiny little push off, then got cold feet and pulled you back up... Bangs are fun.   
  
phoenix7929: MINE TOO! :D They're such a sweet couple! Thank you! I will!  
  
Human Lightshow: ::whacks HL on the head with a small fork:: Okay, I forgive you now. BB? Of course. Very soon. I'm not as good at portraying him, though, but I'll do my best.  
  
Albino Drachidna: O.o;;; You... Okay? Err... THANK YOU! I'll try to keep it up, really! I like writing angst...  
  
Writer's Slush: NII!! [That, by the way, is the squeaking sound yours truly makes when she's incredibly, uncontrollably happy.] You're too incredibly flattering for words! You registered just to give me a review? ::hugs!:: And a heck of a review it was!  
  
Gosh, and here I was thinking the summary sucked... Yeah, it is an interesting premise, isn't it? It occurred to me when, in another fan fic, someone said something about Raven being close to Terra, and their being good friends, and it combined with some obsessions and experiences of mine to create the monster you see before you.  
  
Thanks, I got that impression from the comic books too. Mm, chilling... I like it put that way, I think. Yes, the "guilt starvation" started immediately, but of course, she didn't realize that anything out of the ordinary was happening (now why would that be?), although... Think of it as... It's not that there's "already results", it's more that, perhaps, the results were just intensified along with the cause? ::whacks self on head with fork:: Do not tell too much of plot! I always loved the type of books that I had to read several times in order to comprehend--so I'm very, very, VERY glad to hear that my story, though short and humble, is making you do the same. Mm, yes, the vinegar tea was one of the little hints I put in. It doesn't have much to it, it's not something she EATS, and she doesn't necessarily have to have too much of it to be satisfied, so it's very guilt-free, and only helped by the fact that vinegar actually helps "soak up" fat, and cleanses ones insides quite thoroughly.  
  
Yup, cutting is not a likely option for her, I think--not to start out with, anyways. The self-torture/punishment by cold water is logical, certainly--but not so much original. It's done all the time. (Kinda depressing, huh?) And it hurts, I think, much more than a blade could ever do, though maybe that's just because I have an insanely high tolerance for pain... But cold is scary. I have this AAALL figured out...  
  
Your impression was right (glad I could get it across), she was, in fact, trying to purge much, much more than alcohol from her system. But 'twas no drugs--'twas guilt that brought it all down on her. She had been a bad girl, and she knew it. That's what she was trying to get rid of, trying to clear out, along with the alcohol. She was trying to find a way to start clean again, though I don't think she knew that's what she was doing. She just did it. And nothing really catastrophic happened at the club, other than the rise of sexual tension--I put that in as an afterthought, as an effect of her powers starting to go out of control in a way she wasn't quite used to.  
  
Mm, I never saw that episode, but here's my explanation, based on my idea of Raven's character and experiences: True, she was not shy then. But think of it this way: She was not only out of her cloak (which yes, I have taken that into account in all her actions--she likes her cloak a lot) but she was out of her cloak AND costume AND was wearing things that showed a good deal more skin than she was comfortable with AND was in an entirely different atmosphere than at the other club--or at least I'm assuming so...  
  
Hm, good thought on the villains. No, I haven't got it planned yet. That's a chapter or two away. Thanks for your twenty-five cents on this (well, actually, with all that it was more of a dollar or two...), that really gave me a huge confidence boost!  
  
Well, signing out for now!  
  
HA 


	7. Chapter 7

Burning by Heavenly Awkward  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, and, plainly put, I am sick of having to say so. Can't I keep deceiving people? Please?  
  
I'm BA-A-ACK!!!  
  
Chapter 7: In which Raven has a bad dream and meets a new friend at the cafe, and Robin is not alone in worrying.

* * *

.  
It was just a dream. Yes, just a dream... Just a dream...  
  
But she still felt it. A persistent ache in her chest and the pit of her stomach. It was there. Something was wrong. Still half-asleep, Raven pushed out of bed and went to her bathroom. She took off her clothes and stood naked before the mirror, running her hands over her body. Running her cold fingers over her stomach and chest, they sensed only the gentle inward curves of smooth skin, which prickled as the cold fingers ran over soft hairs. She put back on her clothes, then stumbled out to the hall and fell back, slumping against one wall and sliding down to the floor, staring out at the spot where the wall met the ceiling, numb with sleep and fear.  
  
At breakfast time, Raven hung in the kitchen where Cyborg was cooking his meal.  
  
"Cyborg?"  
  
"Yeah, Rae?"  
  
Raven frowned pensively at the floor, arms folded over her chest. "Do I... look okay?"  
  
Cyborg started a bit, surprised at the nature of the question, which was so very unlike her. "Yeah, of course. Why?"  
  
He hadn't noticed. Still, that didn't neccesarily mean that all was well... Did it? "I just... Don't feel so good today."  
  
"Do you think you need to see a doctor?" Cyborg suggested tenatively, turning completely away from his bacon to look at his friend with concern. Raven, still frowning, shrugged, then slowly shook her head.  
  
"No... No, I guess not."  
  
Relieved, Cyborg turned back to his breakfast with the few last words intended to comfort her, "Don't worry, you look fine."  
  
Raven shrugged, and turned her thoughts from the awful, nagging emptiness, thinking instead of the food plan for the day.

* * *

.  
Two Weeks Later Abigail stared through her mirrored sunglasses at the petite girl entering the cafe, though her face was turned to her coffee. The girl was short--five feet, maybe a little over. She was very thin though. She wore loose, baggy clothes--big jeans and a grey hoodie--and so passed off for merely petite. Abigail knew better. She knew what layered clothes looked like. This girl couldn't weigh more than... what, 68 pounds? 70? That's a body mass index of... She did the math on her napkin. 13.7, at best. God. Abigail had already known from the moment she saw the girl that she was "a skinny". After all, she should know. However, the BMI always drove it home to her, somehow. But 13.7! Even if she rounded it up to 14, that was... emaciated!  
  
Abigail couldn't quite bite back a shudder. Familiar loathing thoughts were welling up... This was just a little too triggering for her. Jessica would have killed her, if she'd seen her head in this state. She needed a distraction. Numbers, details, those were safe. Let's see. Assuming that the girl lost one pound a day, one week ago she would have been 77 pounds, with a BMI of... 15. But at her point, she had probably lost closer to two pounds, not counting changes in metabolism and less exercise on account of weakness, meaning she'd been about 84 pounds. BMI, 16.5. (This girl was in serious trouble!) So maybe, if Abigail looked for a best-case scenario, the girl had lost two pounds a day last week and one a day the week before. That would be twenty one pounds heavier, meaning that she was about 91 pounds two weeks ago. Slightly underweight. But then, accounting for a lower metabolism and less activity, she could only have been able to burn about one pound a day at most, more likely half a pound. So that would mean--  
  
"Why are you staring at me?" The girl glared down at Abigail, her hands tucked in the front pocket of her hoodie.  
  
Abigail looked up, surprised. "What? I wasn't. Sit down."  
  
She sat stiffly, taking one thin, pale hand from her pocket in order to tuck a strand of violet-black hair behind an ear. "Yes you were. Don't think I'm fooled by the glasses. One of my best friends always wears a covering over his eyes. I know when people are looking at me, even if their eyes are covered."  
  
Abigail was silent. Then she laughed. "Very good! Smart one, you are. Here, let me get you something."  
  
"No!" The girl said, only a little too quickly. But Abigail was used to noticing the small things.  
  
"Don't worry. I'll get you coffee--did you know it suppresses your appetite? And no calories, either."  
  
"You don't say? Alright, then."  
  
"Wonderful!" Abigail stopped a plump waitress and ordered a cup of coffee for the girl. Neither of them said anything, though the girl wrinkled her nose at the waitress's pudgy rear end as she walked away. Then, when they both sat sipping their coffee, Abigail started to speeak.  
  
"So. Introductions. My name is Abigail. You can call me Gail, if you wish, but I'd rather not be called Abby. What's your name?"  
  
The girl paused. "Jessica."  
  
Abigail smiled sweetly. "Your REAL name please."  
  
The girl growled.  
  
Abigail gave a barking laugh. "Oh, come, see here. I have a sort of intuition like that--I can always tell when someone's lying. Besides, I was thinking of an old friend as you answered, and her name just happens to be Jessica. That's a little too much to be a coincidence. Let us see, naturally pale complexion, dark violet hair and eyes, chakra, a hood, and a talent for reading minds--you're Raven, of the Teen Titans."  
  
Raven sighed. "Touche. You're right."  
  
"And a good sport too."  
  
"How did you guess?"  
  
"Tut tut, I never guess. It's a very bad habit. I have a good reason for everything I say."  
  
"Then... What...?"  
  
"It's my business to know things other people don't."  
  
"What's your business, then?"  
  
Gail gave a quick, two-second smile--odd guestures like that seemed to be normal for her. She pulled something small and black from her pocket, opened it and slapped it on the table. It was a shiny badge. "Detective Abigail Catherine Merle, Jump City Police Department. At your service, and your friends', Ma'am."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Gail gave another short laugh and chugged the rest of her coffee. "Why don't you come for a walk with me?"  
  
Raven shrugged. She could use the exercise. She nodded, and left her mug on the table as they left the cafe side by side, chatting easily. The two of them walked through the park together, stopping by the new pond. Gail took a package of crackers from her purse to throw to the ducks. She offered one to Raven, who refused, glaring. Gail answered in a calm blank stare. There was something about it that made her break down and take one. She munched it quietly, then another, then another, asking questions in between. Gail seemed kind of young to have been promoted to detective, wasn't she? Yes, she was only thirty-one. But she had always had a penchant for danger and crime, but on the right side of the law. She always had the right answer, the right evidence, and the JCPD noticed. They took her on immediately, at twenty-four. It was a good job, with good pay and lots of connections to the most interesting cases. But Gail had been thinking lately that she'd like to go freelance. Some of those she arrested and prosecuted didn't deserve their punishment, but as a representative of the law, she didn't have any choice in it. No freedom, for her or them. Raven had the feeling that Gail was a formidable woman, with hidden depths to her. Not a person to be underestimated.

* * *

.  
Dear Journal,  
  
Raven's really starting to worry me now. She doesn't eat anything, she never comes out of her room, and she barely speaks to any of us. She doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. But it gets worse.  
  
She's getting thinner and thinner--I can actually see the outlines of her ribs and collarbones through her uniform! If she keeps losing weight, she'll look like someone from a concentration camp! She's starting to look like a skeleton as it is! I saw her yesterday in the training room. You wonder how she can even stand, but she was dancing like... I don't know! But she was whirling and spinning and jumping and... I think she's in trouble.

* * *

.  
A green mouse scurried up the leg of the chair immediately next to Robin and stood up on its forelegs on the seat.  
  
"Robin?" Beast Boy asked with a sad face and huge green eyes. "I think something's wrong with Raven. I heard her throwing up in her bathroom."  
  
"Yes. She has been refusing to speak to me, and she never joins us for meals," Starfire looked worried.  
  
"And she's so skinny!" Cyborg frowned. "She definitely hasn't been eating all that food she brings to her room."  
  
The three of them froze, holding their breaths, waiting for Robin to speak. The Boy Wonder sighed.  
  
"Yes, Beast Boy. Starfire, Cyborg. There's something very wrong with Raven."

* * *

.  
The others are starting to notice. I think the breakdown I thought Raven had escaped happened anyways. And I didn't have the nerve to see it. But not anymore. I'm taking her to a doctor first thing tomorrow. She's not going to die because of me.  
  
Robin

* * *

.  
It started to get dark, and Raven teleported Gail to her apartment. After they said their goodbyes, Raven headed at a full run to the T-Tower. When she got to her room, she headed immediately to the bathroom.

* * *

.  
A/N: BMI is body mass index. You get it by multiplying your weight by 704.7, then dividing it by your height squared--so, say someone's 5'0" tall and weighs 92 pounds. Five feet squared is 3600 (you can get these off online calculators and charts, btw, like at ), 92 times 704.7 equals 64832.4, then divide that by 3600 and you get 18.009.  
25 - 29 BMI = Overweight 19 - 24 BMI = Normal Under 19 BMI = Underweight Under 17.5 BMI = Anorexic Under 15 BMI = Emaciated So our little five-footer is slightly underweight. See? The taller you are, and the less you weigh, the lower your BMI is. In reverse, the shorter you are, and the more you weigh, the higher your BMI is. So, at 14 BMI, like Raven dearest, is--as Abigail decided--emaciated. I do my homework, can ya tell?  
  
Now, to answer my reviewers! (I love you guys to death!) Let's see, I think I start with...  
  
Albino Drachidna: Well, you've got the next chappie! I hope you love it lik I luv youz! :D  
  
Darke Bleuu: Thank you! Yeah, Raven was drunk in chapter four. Not likely that she'd have started dancing otherwise, hm? Heh, yeah, I mainly like BB/Rae (the comic books sorta support it too), but I also support Cy/Rae, Ro/Rae, and I actually read a very good St/Rae once. I can't find it now, though. : Terra is going to have a very big part in this, though, and I'm hardly going to just ignore the fact that BB used to like her!  
  
dana1313: Yes, very sad. Luckily, as you said, it's suposed to be like that.  
  
Human Lightshow: Welcome. :D She's very critical of herself. Perfectionistic tendencies are almost universal among the ED crowd. If anyone says that they're too hard on themselves, that they're really great people, they just think/say (and this is a pretty good quote here): "No, if you really knew me, you'd hate me as much as I do." Anorexic mindset in a nutshell.  
  
wordbearer: Heartwrenching, isn't it? It's my philosophy that the more real something seems, the scarier it is. That's why cheap horror flicks don't scare you, see? But don't worry, help will be coming. After losing AT LEAST fourteen pounds in two weeks, people are going to start noticing.  
  
Zako Lord of Randomnessness: Well, thank you for taking the time to review now! whacks Lord Zako on the head with a small fork for being lazy Now, you keep reading and don't spill yet! When I tell who it is, you can gloat over being right or whack yourself repeatedly with my small fork for being wrong! :D  
  
Change-Of-Heart2: Thank you for all those reviews! They make me happy.  
1: I'm glad you liked it! I'll make sure to give you more to read!  
2: Teehee, I liked the end too. :P 3: Never did, huh? I take it to clean out my throat, since I'm a singer. Tastes vile, but it grows on you. Also, apple cider vinegar boosts your metabolism.  
4: Yeah, she doesn't seem so innocent as in the show, does she? Still, it's not completely out of character.  
5: Much, much, much darker. Yes, I'll be working on that songfic right after I shower. :D I thought you'd like that.  
6: She does need help. Bad. Like Gail observed. I'm so glad you like the story! And no problem--I loved your poems! Now, just to review the new chapters...  
  
Writer's Slush: Hi again! Gosh, I love you! What a wonderful reviewer! It's supposed to be hard to tell between herself and the voice. And yes, you're right, once she got inside, the voice took over.  
On the "what" that is Raven's tormentor... Well, you're on the right track.  
Yes, she has healing abilities, but that doesn't keep the cuts from hurting before they heal, does it?  
Ah yes, I've seen "Sisters". But she didn't dance then. She just went behind a crate to talk to some goth boy.  
But, of course I'll be examining every Titan's relationship with Raven, and it will make perfect sense why I chose the pairings I did. I also actually try to avoid relationships for their own sake. I will NEVER write a pure romance (except for little slices from a pre-determined relationship, like the songfic I'm gonna do). All romance will have something very important to the story.  
I'll try to be nice to me, but I can't help it--I'm very perfectionistic myself! I get it from my dad, so we can blame him. :D  
  
Broken Lover: I'm glad you do!  
  
I shall be faster in getting the next chapter, and I'm sorry for the hiatus!  
HA 


	8. Chapter 8

Burning  
by Heavenly Awkward

Disclaimer: I don't own these people. Really. Well, not legally anyways... :P

Chapter 8: In which the Titans go to the doctor.

* * *

"Raven, it's just a check-up!" Robin said in exasperation. "We're all going! Quit being so stubborn!"

"We didn't go for check-ups last year, or the year before that."

"Well, we should have."

"What about Cyborg and Starfire? A doctor could hardly help them at all."

"Cyborg's going to a lab to get re-tuned. Starfire... Well, I'm doing my best there, but I haven't found anyone who knows about Tamaranian anatomy yet."

Raven stood up and, glaring steadily at Robin, walked in the general direction of the garage. Robin was sure she didn't believe his lie, but at least she was coming without blowing anything up. As far as that went, things were going well. In the car, she was silent and sullen--that is, more sullen than usual. She was the same at the doctor's office, as Dr. Ibbotson left with Robin.

He was a solidly-built man, fairly tall, with kind brown eyes and hair, large, gentle hands, and a warm baritone voice. He was actually trained as a pediatrician, a children's doctor, and you could tell. He made you feel safe, a gift all doctors should have. Once inside the typically clean office, the doctor began the physical. And while he was checking to make sure that Robin was in generally good health, he chatted with him in that warm voice. "Well, you do seem to be taking care of yourself, Robin. You've been a little worried lately, though, isn't that what you said on the phone?"

"Yes--not about me though, about--"

"Raven, I remember. So, what were you worried about?"

"I told you."

"Why don't you tell me again? Just to keep your mind off what I'm doing."

"What _are_ you doing?"

"Giving you a flu shot, against that nasty bug going around. You requested it, on the phone."

"Oh, right. I forgot. I was too busy stressing over Raven."

"Tut. Not good for your blood pressure, that. You're going to die from heart failure someday, mark my words--if the criminals don't get to you first, that is. You're doing a wonderful job with them, by the way. My wife's on the volunteer police force, and she's getting bored."

Robin chuckled along with Dr. Ibbotson. The doctor really did seem to have a sort of gift with people--Robin felt much more relaxed now than when he first came in.

"So, tell me again why you were so worried for Raven."

"Well, she hasn't been eating, and she's lost a lot of weight--a _lot_."

"About how much, would you say?"

"Mmm, thirty, maybe forty pounds?"

"Wow, that is a lot. How long do you think it's been going on?"

"About... Well, since Terra died."

"Ah. Six months or so, am I right?"

"I think so."

"Don't like to think of it, huh?"

"None of us do."

"I don't blame you."

Robin sighed and leaned back. "That night... Cyborg was edgy, yelling at everyone over little things. Starfire just wouldn't stop crying. Beast Boy was in shock. He wouldn't answer any questions, just stared at the ground. That got Cyborg yelling again. And then Star started crying harder."

"And you had to try and calm them all down?"

Robin nodded. "Raven was the only one acting normally--I suspect even I didn't make sense a few times, since I didn't seem to be thinking right--and she even helped me. I was grateful for it at first, but the next morning I remembered that people were supposed to mourn when someone dies. Then I was worried for her."

"Turn around."

"What?"

"Turn around."

Robin obeyed, turning on the examining table to face the wall, legs crossed, his fists to his eyes. The doctor's fingers dug into the knotted muscles in Robin's shoulders. Robin sighed and leaned forward. Neither of them spoke for a while, but Robin felt the rest of his tension melt away under the doctor's gentle hands, so that when he was done, Robin slipped off the table and put back on his shirt while feeling better than he had in years.

"Thanks."

Dr. Ibbotson laughed. "Well, it's not really standard medicine, but you looked like you needed it."

"So, what's the report?"

"You're in exceptionally good health for a boy your age, especially these days. But I'd recommend that you give yourself a bit of a break, both as a leader, and in your training. We don't want you straining any muscles. Just be nice to yourself--and that's a doctor's order! Beast Boy can come in next."

"Alright, but I warn you, he's terrified of doctors. Needles, especially."

The doctor wrinkled his nose. "Gee, thanks." Robin laughed.

"WHAT? I have to get a SHOT???" Beast Boy shrieked.

"Yes, Beast Boy," Robin said. "Just so you don't get the flu. We can't have you sick."

"So quit moaning about it," Cyborg said from the door, arms crossed. "You're gonna get it no matter what. You can at least be quiet, and choose to not get pounded once we're back at the T-tower."

"Ah, no beating up my patients, please."

"Nah, I was talking about video games."

"Do not fear, Beast Boy." Starfire patted his bare arm reassuringly. "We are here."

Beast Boy smiled suddenly. "Hey, that rhymed!"

"What is a 'rhyme'?"

"It's where the ending of a word has the same sound as another--like 'fear' and 'here'," Robin explained, forever patient.

"Oh. What is a nursery rhyme, then?"

"It's a poem for little kids that rhymes," Raven said curtly. "It usually rhymes at the end of every phrase or line, or every other phrase or line, if you wondered."

"Ohhh, I understand now. Thank you, friend Raven!"

Meanwhile, Dr. Ibbotson had been carefully filling a hypodermic syringe. He now turned to Beast Boy, who squeaked and shyed away. "Don't worry, Beast Boy."

"Oh, and now you're gonna say that it won't hurt a bit, right?" The green boy scowled.

"No. It's going to hurt--" Beast Boy squeaked again and inched away from the doctor. "--but only for a second. It's going to be quick."

"Oh, like that's going to help!"

The doctor chuckled. "It was supposed to. Hold still."

Beast Boy whimpered as the doctor came closer, and squeezed his eyes shut, but he didn't move. When he felt the cold alchohol swab on his arm, he reached out blindly and grabbed the first hand he touched--which just happened to be a thin grey one, whose owner was too suprised to pull away. After a moment, the hand squeezed his reassuringly. As Beast Boy felt the sting of the needle, he gripped the hand tighter and tighter.

"I'm done, Beast Boy. You can open your eyes."

Beast Boy did, blinking. "That's it?"

"Yup."

"Ha! Look who's so tough, huh? Oh yeah!"

"Um, Beast Boy?" Raven intoned slowly. "Let go of my hand."

"Huh?" Beast Boy looked at her in suprise, then at his hand gripping hers. He let go.

"Ow."

"Uh, sorry Raven."

Raven shook her head, shaking the blood back into her squashed fingers.

"Hey, Dr. Ibbotson?"

"Yes, Beast Boy?"

"Are you related to the guy that wrote 'Dial-a-Ghost'?"

"Yes, Eva Ibbotson is my cousin."

"Oh. I like your cousin's books." Beast Boy hopped off the table and struggled with his shirt for a while.

"I'll tell her that."

"Wow, Beast Boy, I didn't know you had a long enough attention span to read that long a book," Raven said sarcastically.

"Raven, you can stay here, since you're next."

"Well, see you, Raven!" Robin said cheerfully as the other four Titans turned to leave.

"Yeah," Beast Boy said, sending the doctor a glance. "Nice knowing you."

When the door was closed, Dr. Ibbotson turned to Raven. "Well, Raven, do you mind waiting here for a moment?"

"No. Why?"

"I'm going to go fetch Dr. Peters. I think you would be more comfortable with a female doctor."

While the Dr. Ibbotson went to find said doctor, Raven looked around the room in a sudden fit of either curiosity or boredom. It was, of course, perfectly clean. The walls were bare but for a few posters on abuse, abstinence, and health issues. The counter was also bare, but for a few clear containers of tongue depressors, cotton balls, sterile disposable gloves, and such, as well as the doctor's pen and clipboard, which looked oddly out of place, lying there at an angle. Raven straightened it. Then she looked at the sheet of paper on top. It was just a form, with notes on Beast Boy's health, which was good, but could benefit from a little less junk food. She looked at the one under it, which was about Robin. What was under that one? It was a plain white sheet, instead of a form. The doctor had written on it in scrawling writing:

_Raven's condition severe--signs of illness for over six months. Weight loss extreme, around thirty-five pounds. Medication may be neccesary._

Raven dropped the paper, and shakily tried to lift herself onto the table. She couldn't make it. She rubbed her arms and took deep breaths, then tried again, and made it this time.

They knew. _He_ knew. It must have been Robin who told him; She was sure Beast Boy couldn't have noticed. He wasn't that observant. At least, she didn't think he was. He wasn't, was he? How much did they know? Did they know about all her little deals with herself, the little rituals, the things she had to do in order to get through the day? No, they couldn't. She was too good at hiding them.

"Hello, Raven," A pleasant female voice said. It was a pretty, slender woman. She was kind of short, but it only made her look less intimidating. She looked very professional, though, with her neat white clothes and dark hair pulled up in a knot. She held out a hand to Raven, who shook it. "I'm Dr. Peters. You can go and change in that room over there--there's a robe in there for you as well, unless Terrence has been moving things around."

Raven stripped in the dressing room, folding her clothes and putting them in a neat pile, then wrapped the clean white robe around her and tied the sash loosely around her waist before coming out. Dr. Peters motioned for her to sit on the examining table. She tried, really, but she had the same problem as before. She didn't see Dr. Peters glance at the clipboard, and then look at her with horror and pity as her skeleton-thin arms collapsed under her weight again. Raven did, however, see when she nudged a footstool towards her with one foot. Raven bent down to adjust it, then stepped from it to the table.

"So, Raven." Dr. Peters leaned forward eagerly, perched on her stool, hands clasped and forearms resting on her knees. She had a way of moving, quick, efficient, birdlike--if a little odd--that reminded Raven forcibly of Gail. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"You haven't possibly had any little aches or pains lately, no little bouts of the sniffles?"

"Not really."

"You haven't gotten very cold lately, no problems sleeping or anything?"

"Actually... Both of those. But I sleep fine now."

"Ah, I see. But you get cold?"

"Yes."

"Well, that may just be because Robin's turning the air conditioning up too high. Here, let's weigh you."

Raven stepped on the scale; The numbers stopped at seventy-two pounds. Seventy-_two???_ Two pounds more than yesterday! If she kept gaining at that rate--

"When was the last time you had your period?"

Preoccupied with the numbers, Raven answered absently, "Three months ago."

"Three months?"

"Yes." Raven suddenly realized what she had said. "I think."

Dr. Peters ushered Raven gently back to the table. "Honey, when your body's under stress, your period's the first thing to go. Something is setting off alarms in your body, complete with blaring loudspeakers and red flashing lights. Do you have any idea what it is?"

Raven shook her head, though the message the guesture sent was a lie. She knew exactly what it was. Dr. Peters sighed, fiddling with her pen.

"Raven. For a girl your age and height, seventy-two pounds just isn't enough. And it shows, too. You're three months overdue for your period. You've lost so much fat that your body can scarcely keep itself warm anymore. Your skin doesn't glow, your hair doesn't shine, and your nails break easily. And look at this." Dr. Peters took her arm and pinched a fold of loose skin at the forearm. "Do you think that's normal?"

"Whoever said I want to be normal?"

Dr. Peters motioned for her to stand up. Then she lossened the sash of the robe and pulled it off her shoulders, exposing Raven's thin chest and bony back. The doctor then turned Raven to face away from her. "Raven, did you notice this? This downy hair, on your back and arms?"

"Yes."

"It's called _lanugo_. It's your body's protection in times of severe starvation, when it loses a lot of its insulation. It's like fur--it's supposed to keep you warm. It means you aren't eating enough."

"You don't say?"

"Raven," Dr. Peters said sternly, turning the pale girl around and re-adjusting the robe so that she was decently covered once more. "If this keeps up, do you know what Dr. Ibbotson and I, as your doctors, will have to do?"

"Put me on medication?"

"No. I'm going to do that already. But if you lose any more weight, we're going to hospitalize you. We'll put you in the hospital. And you'll stay there until you gain a fairly normal weight. Then you can go home. If you still refuse to eat, the surgeon will put a tube in you, and you'll get your nutrients through that. If you try any tricks, they'll confine you to your bed. But we will keep you alive."

"But I'm not sick!"

"Yes you are, Raven. You are very sick. You could die."

Dr. Peters opened the door and came out into the waiting room. Robin jumped up immediately.

"Doctor! What... I mean..."

"Raven?" Robin nodded, and Dr. Peters sighed, shaking her pretty head with her hair tied so tight it pulled her eyes slanty. "I need to talk to you all about that. You must have noticed by now, but Raven is very sick. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Raven has _Anorexia Nervosa_..."

"NO!!!" Beast Boy yelled, standing up on his chair and waving his arms emphatically. Cyborg sat up straight very suddenly and swore loudly. Robin just looked away, wishing he hadn't been right. They all knew what this was.

"Will she be undamaged when it has run its course?" Starfire asked anxiously. At this, Dr. Peters looked so sad that Star almost wished she hadn't spoken.

"Starfire, because of what this disease is like, it may never run its couse. And Raven will most certainly be damaged, though if she co-operates and we're lucky, it may only be slight."

Starfire's fearful eyes widened and began to fill with tears. "Wh... What do you mean?"

"_Anorexia Nervosa_ means "nervous loss of appetite", which gets the idea across, but it's not quite accurate. Starfire, Raven is starving herself."

"What?"

"'Anorexics', as they're called, are obsessed with being thin. They will lose incredibly amounts of weight, and yet still think of themselves as fat. They will never be thin enough. Left to themselves, many of them would eventually starve to death."

"I do not understand." But she understood the horror and gravity of the situation, because she started to cry softly.

Dr. Peters placed a comforting hand on Starfire's shoulder. "I need all of your help, to make her keep eating. She needs to take this medicine, which will make her hungry, and hopefully make her eat more. But the medicine rarely works, not on its own--most anorexics are plenty good at ignoring hunger, by the time they get the medicine. That's where you all come in. I need you to make sure she eats with you for every meal, and that she eats all of whatever she has. _All_ of it! And you need to be nice to her. Don't act like she's made of glass, and don't smother her--just be her friends, in deed as well as name. Anorexia always has some root in the mind, in the soul. Raven's anorexia means that somewhere inside her, she's unhappy, and feeling lost, and trying to take control of something. What it really is, is a gigantic sign flashing, 'Look how out of control I really feel!'. But she needs to feel like she's not alone. If she has someone she can lean on, she might start to feel like she's actually worth something. She needs her friends now, more than ever."

"We will do it," Starfire said firmly. Dr. Peters smiled at her.

"I'm sure you will. If you have any questions, I'm sure that Robin will probably be able to answer them for you." She handed Robin a bottle. "Make _sure_ that Raven takes this. I want you to come back in two weeks so I can check up on her. I've already told Raven that, if she loses any more weight, we're going to hospitalize her, so she has her ultimatum. Good luck to you all."

* * *

I think this is my longest chapter yet! :D Though, it was very late at night when I wrote the last section, so I'm sorry if it seems kind of... Wrong. I fixed it as best I could! Well, now we'll just see if Raven takes Dr. Peters's advice to heart...

**Human Lightshow:** ::is hugged:: Yeah, the BMI can be confusing, huh? But _I_ like math, and it fits the story quite well, so hah.  
Answer: No, Gail wasn't from the comics. I wouldn't be suprised to see a character with a name that sounds sorta like Gail who's on the police force, but I made Gail up.  
THANK YOU!! I thought so too, actually. And don't worry, I like long reviews!

**Hikari Yume:** Well, thanks! Hm, I didn't actually see the episode where Terra died (stupid re-runs!!!), but I warn you, if I tell you, it'll be a huge spoiler! Raven's my favorite character too, and I'm glad you could get your first impression of the TT fanfics from my fic. :D

**mysticfire:** Wow, I always love it when people do reviews for more than just the last chapter.  
1. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!! :P  
2. ::hands him a plate of cookies :: 3. Thank you! ::pleased smile::

**wordbearer:** Yes, now's the part where we sigh with relief. ::sigh of relief:: Someone's going to try and help Raven now. And I was thinking that her powers would weaken as well, which is fortunate. But at some point, they may become too much for her poor, tired body to handle... I hadn't thought of Trigon intervening, though. I always though of him more as a quiet, underlying menace--one moment of weakness, and he'll take over. ::shrug::

**softballtitan009:** 2. I thought so too. :D  
4. I know! That's totally what I thought! Raven, you sexy lady! I mean, Beast Boy already worships her...  
7. Heh, I try to be realistic. Being tricky is fun, too! But most anorexics are like that, they can't or won't understand it until it's too late, and they can't stop. They become hooked on the idea, the very lifestyle that's killing them. Many of them are even very informed about their 'disease', all the risks, all the 'tricks of the trade'. But knowing the risks is never, ever enough to make them stop.

Thank you all, and I love you all to lots of little tiny shards of minute pieces! Of course, I like you better whole, but still...


	9. FINAL ALERT!

Dearest darlingest readers,

I'm sorry for the hiatus, nice people. I've been having a lack of inspirationnot writer's block, mind you, just a lack of inspiration. When I looked at what I had for the next chappie, I just thought, "Okay... What now?" and came up blank. :shrug: Sorry, my dearsies.

Uh, please don't kill me, but I have some bad news. There's gonna be another hiatus. :ducks as they throw pies and small, sharp forks at her: Er, sorry! Really I am! But I find the story in great need of being rewritten. When next you see it, it may be missing a chapter or twosome of them were too shortand will have a new name. I think I shall probably call it CANDLE, but you know... That's my working title, anyways.

So sorry!  
Heavenly Awkward

P.S. I've thought a bit more... The title will be Candle. I'm putting up the first chapter today. It's a slightly changed mesh of most of the first three chapters. Sorry, it didn't change all that much... But I'll give you some more fun stuff to read when I put the next chappy together. 


End file.
